


You're My Human Weakness (And I Love It)

by C4t1l1n4



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cute Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Dies, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Season/Series 08 Compliant, Season/Series 08, Shy Castiel (Supernatural), but hes baby at this point, but not really, he does his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23562976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C4t1l1n4/pseuds/C4t1l1n4
Summary: Season 8 when Naomi has Cas kill all the Deans but instead when she leaves them in the room together they all just flirt and cuddle and chill with Cas and encourage him to tell actual Dean what happens and possibly how he feels.Crack Fic
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 94





	You're My Human Weakness (And I Love It)

“I’ll be back in an hour,” Naomi says, pushing Cas into a big, white room. “You know what to do.” 

“I won’t kill Dean!” Cas snarls back, but the door has already slammed shut behind her and he is left alone. 

He hears something shift behind him, and his angel blade instinctively falls into his hand as he whirls around to face the threat. He is frozen in his tracks as when he comes face to face with Dean. 

“Whoa! Easy there, Tiger.” Dean teases, catching Cas by the shoulders.

The angel blade is dropped, clattering to the floor as Dean steps back revealing, more Deans. Cas’s gaze darts around the room as he realizes, this entire warehouse-sized room is filled with copies of Dean Winchester. It’s only then that he realizes that’s exactly what they are: copies. The real Dean is down on Earth. But as the Dean closest to him smiles, and others loop their way around him, pulling him further into the room, he can’t help but notice how much they act like him, down to the way he moves and talks. 

“This is hardly a fair fight,” Cas states to no one in particular, as anyone who might’ve cared had left already.

“Who said anything about fighting?” Another Dean asked from where he was relaxing against one of the many columns scattered around the room. 

“Yeah, I don’t know what you but…” One Dean started, taking a seat on the floor nearby

“I’m a lover, not a fighter.” A different Dean finished, nudging him in the side with a wink. 

Cas felt his face heat up and he stumbled a bit, his angel blade lost in the fray as he was coaxed to the ground.

“And you,” yet another Dean sidled up next to him, pressing into his side. “Are exactly my type.” He finished, suggestively.

Any feeble protests from Cas about personal space died from his lips as he was suddenly jerked to his right, and found himself settled in a Dean’s lap. 

“Hey!” Flurries of protests popped up from other Dean’s around the room, who had shuffled closer. 

“Why do you get to hold him?”

“Aren’t we supposed to share?” 

“Yeah, don’t keep the angel to yourself.”

Cas subsequently buried his burning face in his hands. He was pretty sure this wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

“But this is so much better.” The Dean holding him said, his breath puffing against the back of his neck. 

“This isn’t even real,” Cas mumbled as he lifted his head back up, scanning the room once more.

“What is that supposed to mean? We’re perfect copies of him.”

“That’s kinda the whole point.”

“My Dean - actual Dean - isn’t like this.” Cas pointed out. 

“Yeah, but we’re in Heaven.” 

“So you’re all acting like this because it’s my Heaven?” Cas asked, confused. 

“What? You want us to act like this?” 

Cas flushed a little bit more as he realized the context of his words. 

“We’re teasing of course.”

“Yeah, teasing.” 

“We’re acting like this because Heaven is a place to be unrestrained. Free. Humans relive their best moments.”

“And our best moments _would_ be with you - if we could ever pull our head out of our ass enough to do anything about it.”

“Are you implying that-”

“We have a big fat crush on you?”

“Absolutely!”

“How could we not?”

“I mean, we first meet you and you’re all badass with windblown hair and you stroll in that barn like you own the place, and we stab you and you’re not fazed at all and then you’re like boom, wings before disappearing like nothing happened.”

“That’s hot as fuck!” 

“I’ve changed a lot since then,” Cas admits.

“Yeah, now you’re all nerdy and clueless and shy about human stuff but you’re still all badass and cool about other shit.”

“And we can just ruffle you up again.” A Dean leans over, running a hand through Cas’s hair, messing it up. “See? Instant sex hair.”

“Awesome.”

“Loosen the tie, undo a couple of buttons…” Said tie is subsequently loosened and buttons undone right after. 

“Damn, you’re downright edible.”

“I wasn’t aware you were planning on eating me,” Cas states seriously. A wave of laughter and fond smiles ripples through the crowd of Deans and Cas realizes he wasn’t being serious. “Oh.” He says before any Dean can correct him, “Figure of speech.”

“Don’t ever change.” a Dean says from somewhere off to his left, and Cas is suddenly brought back to a time years ago, shortly after they had first met, and Dean had told him the same thing. 

“We had an appointment.” Cas parrots, and though it doesn’t make sense in this context, they seem to understand. 

“We’re not planning on eating you, but I’d sure as hell like to kiss you.”

Maybe Cas was growing a bit more confident, or maybe he just figured that if this wasn’t real, he should take advantage of this fantasy while he could, because he replies with: “I think I’d like that too.”

The Deans around him smirk and smile and a few even pump their fist in victory. Time becomes meaningless and Cas gets lost in a haze as Dean after Dean kisses him, tugs on his shirt, whispers sweet nothings into his ear. They’re only interrupted when the door swings open, and the sound of heels clicking against the hard, tile floor makes everyone freeze. 

Naomi’s unimpressed stare falls on the group, and while she can’t spot Cas, who the Deans immediately clustered around to protect, she speaks anyway. “I see that you haven’t got much of anything done.”

“Oh, we got plenty done.” a Dean remarks snidely from somewhere in the masses, but he’s promptly elbowed in the side by the one next to him.

“Well, Castiel. I’ll give you a headstart.” she drawls as she picks up his angel blade from where it had been abandoned on the ground. “I mean, maybe you’re just more of a visual learner,” and with that, she plunges the blade into the chest of the nearest Dean. 

“No!” Cas rushes to his feet, pushing through the crowd to get to Naomi, in attempts to prevent her from killing anymore, but the Deans are one step ahead of him. They grab onto whatever part of him they can reach - arms, legs, his trenchcoat - effectively rendering him immobile as the others crowed Naomi, wrenching the blade from her hand and forcing her from the room. The door shuts behind her, and the Deans pile against it until she gives up trying to get back in, and walks away. Even still, some Deans linger nearby, just in case. 

It’s only then that Cas is released and a clear path opens to the dead Dean, the others staying back and staying silent as Cas rushes over to him. The thought of any Dean, even a copy, dead is almost too unbearable for the angel to handle. He collapses on the floor next to the lifeless husk of a body, and debates using grace to try and heal him but knows deep down inside, that it was too late. Tears leak from his eyes and a nearby Dean settles himself down next to Cas, who promptly latches on to him, sobbing ugly tears into the hunter’s green jacket. 

The room is silent, save Cas’s sobs, but the Dean’s start to shift, working their way closer and surrounding him. One of them picks him up, cradling him in his arms and carrying him away from the dead body. He settles them down somewhere on the other side of the room and the rest of the Deans huddle around him, blocking the dead body from his sight. It takes a while, but he eventually calms down, and a pair of hands lift his chin, wiping his tear-stained face away with the pads of his thumbs. 

“I think it might be a good idea to go visit the actual Dean.” The Dean holding him suggests softly, and Cas nods. ”We’ll be here when you get back.” He’s helped to his feet and then gives the closest one a tight hug, before taking a deep breath to steel his nerves and flying away. 

\--------

He appears in the bunker and trods wearily down the stairs. He’s met by Sam, who smiles at his politely, but looks concerned. “You okay?” 

Cas nods but doesn’t trust his voice, so he says as little as possible, getting straight to the point. “Where’s Dean?” 

“Kitchen, last I saw.” 

Cas dips his head in appreciation and wanders his way through the bunker until he gets to the kitchen. There, he finds Dean sipping on a beer and scrolling through his phone. Cas freezes in the doorway at Dean alive and well, doing something so stereotypically him and he lets out a sigh in relief. 

“Dean.” He breathes softly, full of awe and on the verge of tears, but he hears it, jerking his head up to stare at Cas. 

They’re frozen there for a second, but Cas says his name louder and more broken this time, rushing forward to throw his arms around him. 

“Whoa! Easy there, Tiger.” Dean teases but wraps his arms around Cas in return anyway. Cas holds him a bit tighter as those words bounce around in his brain, reminding him of where he just came from. “What’s the big deal? Usually, hugs like this are reserved for close calls.” Cas doesn’t respond, and Dean just lets him for a second, before gently pushing him away. He holds him by his shoulders and gives him a thorough once over. “Not to be rude, but you look like Hell warmed over.” He states, taking in the angel’s messy hair and rumpled shirt. “What happened?”

Cas squints his eyes, tilting his head slightly and ignoring the question completely. “You like it.” Dean flushes, avoiding eye contact and attempting to splutter out a response. Cas smiles, “Wow, they were right,” he comments to mostly to himself, a smile growing on his face. “They did me all up for you.”

“Who did?” Dean questions and Cas explains everything. 

He talks about Purgatory and Naomi and the brainwashing and the copies of Dean. They spend hours in the kitchen going back and forth, Dean asking questions and Cas telling him everything he had learned so far. Dean promises that they’d figure something out, and Cas reassures that he believed him, they always did. They’d get Sam up to date, add it to their list of impossible problems to solve and find a way. 

They spend so long in the kitchen, that Sam finds them when he pokes his head in to get something to eat, Cas pressing Dean against the counter as they kissed.

“Ewwww…” Sam jokes and the two jump apart, Dean scratching the back of his neck, embarrassed. “Not where the food is.”

“My apologies, Sam,” Cas says sincerely, but Sam just smiles. 

“I’m just joking, Cas. I’m happy for you both.”

“Get outta here with your chic-flicks, Samantha,” Dean says, regaining his confidence. 

“Jerk.” Sam scoffs as he walks away, but he’s still smiling. 

“Bitch.” Dean returns. Now that they’re alone again, he turns his attention back to the angel. “Let’s go somewhere comfier.” 

He tugs Cas along behind him by the sleeve of his trenchcoat, who follows willingly. They end up in Dean’s room, and Cas collapses on the soft, foam mattress appreciatively. Dean chuckles but changes into sleeping clothes and leaves to brush his teeth real quick. When he returns, he finds Cas had removed a lot of his layers, leaving him in only his button-up and black slacks. Dean helps maneuver both of them under the covers, and Cas pulls him close. And as they fall asleep, snuggled together, hand in hand, Dean can’t even find it in himself to complain that he’s the little spoon.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for this weird little fic, but the idea was in my head and I just couldn't get it out until I wrote something for it. Not my best, but hope you like it anyway.


End file.
